Been busy with outings, games && activities.
So yeahh, recently went out with bestfriends to Bugis.
&& dpt pujians, kembang? Might be.
&& yeahh, I just came back from home after playing soccer.
Well, injuries here && there. Right leg giving problems. Left wrist has not been okay.
&& yeahh, I injured my left foot. && I can't walk fucking properly.
Gonna clear the bone that has been sticking out from my left wrist, don't know when.
It's fucking painful whenever I try grab on things or whenever I put my head on my left wrist.
Surgery punn surgery laa. Aslkn pulih sudahhh. && yeahh, life's been, crappy? Sucky?
Luckily I got my beloved girlfriend, who can take care of me day && night, through thick && thin. Sorry I brought down chat box && archives. Just wanna let this blog rot.
&& it's fucking rare to see me online in MSN.
It's a bad bad year for me, haiya. Wish 2009 could pass that easily. Just 1 more month to go.
This year is the most open heartbreak.
&& whenever I come to that problem, I just broke down.
Damn these crazy emotions. It's fucking hurtful, really is.
Sometimes, I feel like I just wanna give up, but I know I shouldn't.
'Cause if my friends can do it, why shouldn't I?
If I can give hopeful words to my friends, why shouldn't I just give it to myself instead?
If I can help my friends stay strong, keep their feet on the ground, why shouldn't I?
I wish I could just trade shoes with someone else, so they can feel the way I feel.
&& every single night, I kept thinking about it. Why?
'Cause it fucking affects my future. I've moulded my future perfectly.
&& after that problem arise, I've been stuck-up, fed-up, fucked-up && sick of it.
Yeahh2, life is always unfair, it's all up to me to make it fair.
That's why we got good && bad people. I just can't keep dragging my failure with me.
&& sometimes, shit happens, the failure I've done back then, recurring in the future.
That's what I don't wish to see it happen. 'Cause when it hurts, it hurts like no other.
The most painful disease or illness is, when your heart is fucking smashed into fucking pieces.
You will get a very hard time healing your heart, 'cause there is not other way to heal a broken heart.
&& for my situation, it's really fucking bad. I swear it is.
'Cause I just want them to be back.
Having a dad, is one, having a mum, is two, having both parents, is just my birthday wish.
&& I tried every fucking alternatives to forget that problem.
I drank, I smoked, I chilled, but to no fucking avail.
I ain't got sixth sense, nor do I believe in instincts.
But yes do I believe in miracles. I do believe in miracles.
I'm sorry for blaming you, for everything I just couldn't do.
&& I've hurt myself, by hurting you.
I just want you to know, you are beautiful in every single way.
&& seeing you cry, makes me feel like saying sorry.
You ain't the girl I found on Earth, you are the girl I found in my wildest dream.
&& you've been by my side supporting me, pulling me back up on my feet when I fall.
I know you can take me higher, high above the sky.
&& I ain't got wealth, but the love you gave me, is what I'm looking for.
In life, I learn these, good things, comes to good people.
&& a life-long healthy relationship, comes to those who waits.
This, I wrote for you, my ever sweetheart that have been patient with me.
I love you, && only you.
Rafiqah.
